FOR SALE By Jesse W. James

FOR SALE

 By Si Pifkins

(This story was transcribed from Jesse w. James’s handwritten pocket diary.)

 

One Ford car with piston rings

 

Two hind wheels and one front spring

 

Has no fenders, seat made of plank

 

Easy on gas but hard to crank

 

Carburetor split half way through.

 

Engine missing, hits on two

 

Leaking oil radius rod bent

 

Extra tire ain’t worth a cent

 

Gasoline tank leaking gas

 

Good windshield but has no glass

 

Ten spoke twisted wheels ain’t plumb

 

Three old tires, inner tubes on the bum

 

Top is gone and the body is nude

 

Radiator busted should be glued

 

Hind axle twisted in the differential gear

 

But the horn’s got a honk

 

Both loud and clear

 

The transmission gears

 

Got an awful squeak

 

But the steering wheel

 

Is hard to beat

 

Two spark plugs

 

Jus bought new

 

Won’t fire any better

 

Then the other two

 

Front lights burn when

 

The weather is hot

 

Don’t know if the tail

 

Lights working or not

 

She’s full of carbon

 

Break bands no good

 

Brand new fan belt

 

Regular Ford hood

 

Three years old from the spring

 

Got shock absorbers

 

But there darn poor thing

 

Starts in low and

 

Stops in high

 

Had to let the other

 

Car’s go by.

 

By rights the engine

 

Should be rebored

 

Then she’ll be good

 

As a brand new Ford

 

She’s got the speed

 

If you turn her loose

 

Burns gas, coal oil or tobacco juice

 

You can buy her right

 

If you’ve got the tin

 

It’s a hellava good Ford for the shape she’s in.