FOR SALE
By Si Pifkins
(This story was transcribed from Jesse w. James’s handwritten pocket diary.)
One Ford car with piston rings
Two hind wheels and one front spring
Has no fenders, seat made of plank
Easy on gas but hard to crank
Carburetor split half way through.
Engine missing, hits on two
Leaking oil radius rod bent
Extra tire ain’t worth a cent
Gasoline tank leaking gas
Good windshield but has no glass
Ten spoke twisted wheels ain’t plumb
Three old tires, inner tubes on the bum
Top is gone and the body is nude
Radiator busted should be glued
Hind axle twisted in the differential gear
But the horn’s got a honk
Both loud and clear
The transmission gears
Got an awful squeak
But the steering wheel
Is hard to beat
Two spark plugs
Jus bought new
Won’t fire any better
Then the other two
Front lights burn when
The weather is hot
Don’t know if the tail
Lights working or not
She’s full of carbon
Break bands no good
Brand new fan belt
Regular Ford hood
Three years old from the spring
Got shock absorbers
But there darn poor thing
Starts in low and
Stops in high
Had to let the other
Car’s go by.
By rights the engine
Should be rebored
Then she’ll be good
As a brand new Ford
She’s got the speed
If you turn her loose
Burns gas, coal oil or tobacco juice
You can buy her right
If you’ve got the tin
It’s a hellava good Ford for the shape she’s in.